195 Days
(Eric)
The stars could lead me safely home tonight.
But i can't trust them; they've let me down so many times.
Those words are traveling 60 mph in my head.
Somebody's cut the brakes; they crash and they explode...
What if i missed this turn? Where would i end up?
How long would it take before anybody realized i'm gone?
I can't forget mistakes i've made; they were all mine.
Don't wanna bother you; i just want to say "hi."
Do you know how it feels
To want to just not want
Something that you would give
Anything to have?
What if i just don't stop?
What if i never make it home tonight?
'Cuz these thoughts they just won't leave my head.
I don't know what to do anymore.
And it is so damn hard
Trying to be good enough for you.
Oh how i wish i could
Become someone else and start again...
But i'm too lazy; i'm going crazy tonight.
I always seem to drag you down.
In my head, in my mind, i'm unhappy all the time.
Try to laugh, make you smile, it never seems worth the while.
Do you know how it feels
To want to just not want
Something that you would give
Anything to have?
And i'm not trying to control
Anybody's life.
Because i can't even
Manage my own tonight.
Scratch n Sniff
(Eric)
I'm thinking about heading out.
It's been unfun.
Don't get up; i'll show myself out.
And then i'll run, and hide.
I've said too much; exposed for what i really am:
A kid, selfish... i only want what i can't have.
And if i ever got it, i wouldn't know what to do...
I'm sick and tired of all that i've put myself through.
Please don't take this as a sad attempt to get you back.
Today i woke up feeling great;
The sun was up 'cuz it was noon.
No more depressing song lyrics;
I'm done with that.
Far From It
(Eric)
I've been down this road before
And I'm sick of all these turns
What I need is a map
That'll show me how to get there
'Cuz that's where i wanna be
I can't be here; you can't see me.
I wish i was invisible.
I can't feel pain; you can't hurt me.
I wish i was invincible.
Everything passes me by
And i watch it disappear
Told you twice right to your face
But it didn't do much good
When it was all in my head.
(repeat chorus)
Feel it less with every day
And the pain is shrinking faster
I'll be fine because my mind
It's focused somewhere else
And i feel more alive inside.
Noon To Midnight
(Billy)
I role my eyes back in my head. Pretend Im an angel.
But this angel don't have wings and I could never sing.
I want to wash away my face to get on your good side.
To prove myself I'm not so dull. My eyes are burning out.
I watch my life slip into this mess.
The blood can't drain this away.
It's not like I'm any stronger.
Nothing can tie me down to this desk.
Except my pen and thoughts of rest.
It's not like I'm any smarter.
Sleeping dosen't work for me. It dosen't work out.
I'll stare at the sun 'till I go blind. Ha! I'm blind.
I never leave my bed. I might as well be dead.
Now I'm trying a new view one that goes straight for you.
Crooked teeth and crooked eyes.
I always wear this same disguise.
It's not like I'm much better.
Another day a different death.
I was leaving, but I just left.
It's not like I'm any colder.
But you're the one who took me in.
The one who told me to begin.
Showed me that life was not a test.
And now you're here to teach the rest.
You give me something I can hold.
A new story to be told.
You show me that true love exists.
And you showed me that with our first kiss
Sweet breath basks upon your tears.
Angels drying off your eyes.
I know now that we are stronger.
I ask a question straight to the heart.
One locked up deep inside.
Will you come with me forever?
Something New
(Eric)
Where do I go from here I dont know?
Everything moves fast and yet too slow.
Happiness it once was in my eyes.
These eyes this face I now dispise.
Where was I when you needed me most?
Memories haunt my mind like ghosts.
I cannot see a future were.
I could force myself to care.
What would it take to bring me back?
To that place where I once was at.
Looking back I now wonder if you
Feel the same way that I do?
A piece of me with you is now gone.
My head won't let my heart move on.
The pain remains day after day.
Things will never be ok.
What I'd give to feel alive inside.
But, What can I do?
What I'd give to feel alive inside.
I need something new.
I just want to give up.
Another Winter Saved
(Billy)
I've blown my brains out across this fuckin' town
and my mind is as burnt out as a dogs.
My clothes smell of fermeldihide and fears
and I swear, I've seen this road before.
Cable tv isn't so nice when the tv's on, but you're
not home. And down in my room the spirits never
left and I feel their whispers each night. And
the exhause outside lets out more sulfer that
I see turn into frost. It's just another stupid winter
that I've lost.
And these same four walls I see night after night
are filled with movie posters, flyers, and old things that I've
found. At garage sales or in the trash and now my clothes smell
of stale food and smoke from the night before. After I left, I'm sorry
my friend, but sometimes the ghost can get the best of us.
Here's to another night with you, my love.
Here's to another night of forgetting all my pain.
Here's to another night of old, tired bones.
Here's to another night I loved spending with you.
Let's Dream
You're Sitting On My Love Poem
(Eric)
So nervous that I can't keep my lunch down.
Heart thumping, stomach pumping just at the sound
of your voice saying, "hello".
I don't know how to respond to you.
Feel a pulse in my forehead when I see you.
Sweat pours our my pores, god I stink now.
Other people seem to clear out of the way.
You're the only one that I notice for now.
What can I say? Anything would sound dumb.
God, no it's eye contact.
Hold my breath, act like I don't see you, play it cool.
How's my breath, how's my hair, do my clothes fit ok?
These few seconds matter so much to me.
But will you remember me in an hour?
All I know is you're so beautiful right now.
'01
(Billy)
The people in our lives. Are just tiny flashes in our minds. They come and go with each passing moment. Old memories fad into black. I can just make out your face. I admit, I've lost more than my heart can handle.
Why am I help up by all these strings? I don't want to be part of something that's destined to fail.
Last year was the time of our lives. Summer just seemed to pass us on by. I never really knew all of you then. I wish that it was still like that now.
But those times are gone we're moved on. Down two seperate paths. I'm leading the way and I'm never going back again.
You where always my friend, but I won't be seeing you again. You where always my friend, but I won't be missing you again. (This is so lifeless, this is so lifeless.)
I Hate You Now
(Eric)
I'm just sick of being here.
I wanna rip my ears off and throw them to the floor.
maybe then i'd be alright.
wouldn't have to listen to your lies anymore.
I've tried absolutely nothing to cure the wounds
caused by my own trust in you.
inside out, it's all one mess.
all these things I thought were true.
so here's my bed, where I can lay and fix my head
and it makes sense when I am by myself.
I won't pretend that it's ok, when it's not at all.
all I know is that I hate you now.
Canadian
(Eric)
I don't like mayonnaise on everything but I know that I do like to drink
beer. North Dakota's a lot like Canada with winter 9 months of the year. You
can say that Canada sucks but you're just a stupid geek. We don't even care
what you have to think.
Cuz I wanna be a Canadian. Its better than living in the USA we've got that
stupid Slim Shadian. I hate him. I think I wanna move to Manitoba. Maybe a
little side of Winnipeg. Yeah that will show ya.
Im sick of the USA's capitalistic democracy. Everything that our president
says is one big fat hypocrisy. Don't you know that we can get much better
Medicare. So why don't we all pack up our bags and go breath in some fresh
Canadian air
Repeat Chorus
C A N A D I A..
Sucidial Tendencies
(Billy)
I came home late last night saw I had two messages on my phone. As I pondered
at who this could be I realized I don't even have a machine. I went down to
the movie store but a twix and a flick then walked out the door. As I sat at
home and watched it I realized the movie was about me and you.
Life is bringing me down again. It seems like everyone has that special
friend. Life is dragging me down again it seems like my life will be a living
hell to the end.
Life is so boring
I went down to my old hangout to say if there was anyone about I couldn't
find a single soul I guess they were all busy smoking up the bowls
Life is so boring.
Nerdlinger
(Billy)
Well you were a sorry excuse for a friend. You told me that you would never
turn your back on me again. I should of seen it coming from a million miles
away. But my eyes were shut and Im too blocked up today.
Im thinking and Im seeing you move your mouth what do you have to say. Im
thinking Im feeling if this will feel like this today
Well I knew from the start I knew from the first day. The friendship we had
you decided to throw it all away. And I wish I was there to see that look on
your face. If I knew this is what friends were like. Why did I even make any?
Until another day Until another day when everything's ok but I wont feel
guilt tear down these walls I have built around myself so I wont feel pain
you had nothing to gain and after five years I still cant forget. I cant
forget
You made me feel like a nerdlinger
Allergic to You
(Eric)
Every time Im near you I break out. You make me want to scream and shout. The
world would be a much better place if you weren't here. So go away and don't
come back for another year.
I can't stand anything that you do. It seems like you don't have a single
clue. I think that Im allergic to you. Allergic to you. Go!
Everything seems to go wrong when you are here. Your presence brings misery
instead of cheer. Its almost as if I wanta punch you in the face. You're
nothing but a shame you're a disgrace.
Firefly
(Billy)
Waking up each day to my realization. Im swallowing my words and choking on
my thoughts. Im coughing up the spiders along with some blood and guts. Onto
the floor.
And Im awaiting for me to finnaly be realeased from my own private cell of
unendless sleep.
Im in the drivers seat staring out the passenger side. Im heading straight
ahead into into a break wall. And I wont stop for nothing. Theres a hole in
my head. That's telling me something. And this heart of mine never wants to
have to feel the crash. Until its burned up like tiny pieces of paper from a
match.
Im spilling my life onto the floor. I cant put the pieces together the
puzzles done but I cant find the glue. And a million faces never lie. Unless
one of them can somehow make it out alive.
No Forgivness
(Eric)
started out to be a good idea, thought we'd come over to seeya. now i sit
alone with my fright, can't forget the mistakes that were made that night.
now i guess i gotta move on, can't believe you're really gone. and i know
it's hard to believe, it's all my fault and now i gotta leave.
No forgivness cant believe my soul were it once was now its just a hole a
hole that's burning day after day a hole now that you've gone away
here i sit alone by myself, just me there's nobody else. sit and think of
what's been done, never thought that this would hurt someone
worst of all that someone's you and there's nothing i can do but sit here
alone in my cell forever i'll be trapped inside this hell
Indecent Exposure
(Eric)
Please tell me why i can't seem to figure it out, what you're all about. I don't know why i even try anymore. And it is such a drag, i want everything now. i just don't know how. i know that i have blown my chance before.
all i'm tryin to say (all i'm trying to say) is that i'm trying so hard to be the one you want me to be (one you want me to be), or at least what i think you want*
and it is so damn hard trying to be cool when i just look like a fool. it doesn't feel like my friends are there for me. Maybe this all is just a game you like to play. i feel so pushed away. but i'm probably just imaginating everything
*all i'm trying to say (all i'm trying to say) is that you are not the one that i want you to be (that i want you to be) and that is the one who's with me.
Follow the Leader
(Eric)
Society tries to tell you what you should be. "You should wear GAP clothes and watch your MTV." Everyone is so afraid of just being themselves. Afraid of not belonging, afraid of everyone else.
Just try to be the best person you can be (yeah). Don't give a crap what anyone else thinks (yeah).
Idividuality has now become 'uncool.' Clones roam the malls and the halls of your high school. Those who act differently are cast-out as freaks. But if no one thinks for themselves, then no one really thinks.
Don't change for anybody but yourself (yeah). If someone tells you otherwise, then they can go to hell (yeah).
